I had walked through these doors many times, often rushed to the room where the microscope was but it felt a whole lot different that day when I met the sonographer at the corridor to guide me to a dark cold room. I don’t remember her name but I can just recall that she was very kind and gentle and I was very nervous. While she was doing the procedure she attempted to have a simple conversation with me but I kept interrupting her by asking many questions about the images she was getting on her ultrasonography screen.
When she left the room to get the radiologist I sat still on the bed but my mind was racing about the possible out come of the result. Then I started to pray for this test to be just a false alarm so that I get the chance to see my girls grow to adulthood, to bake many more late night cupcakes. I prayed for the opportunity to grow old with my beloved husband and to spend more time with my parents. The thought of my upcoming projects, next professional exam, our investment planning, the security of our jobs, the mortgage, and next holiday didn’t even cross my mind at that moment. It was only a couple of minute that I was alone but it felt like an eternity. I had a very brief discussion with the radiologist and left that room with an immense sense of gratitude not only because the test result turned out to be very good but also I had the knowledge of the “things that matter the most” to me. After this experience I have made a commitment to let this knowledge guide me to change the way I live my life.
I would invite you to do a small exercise for two minutes. Just imagine yourself in a dark cold room, waiting to hear back from the doctor about an important test result and see what are the thoughts that come to you. I know many of you will skip this exercise because you just don’t have the time now; you have more important or urgent matter to attend to (I know this because I was the same for many years). I hope when you finally get the time to find out about the things that matter the most to you, its not too late and hopefully through a false alarm.
If you have done the exercise I would love to hear your thoughts.
With love and gratitude,