Entries from December 20th, 2013

Dec20

“2013”-An amazing adventure of living, loving and embracing uncertainty

Posted by: Naz Laila

This year has been a year when I felt more alive and engaged than ever. It hasn’t been a easy ride but an amazing adventure.

Challenges

I knew 2013 was going to be a tough year as I was preparing for my final medical specialisation exam. Little did I know that it would be only a part of a multitude of challenges?  Facing a sudden and severe illness of my daughter was the hardest part.

Also pursuing my creative side and sharing that journey was an uncomfortable and vulnerable process.

When my husband also decided to start his journey in online entrepreneurship and continue his full time job, it added another dimension to the challenge we were facing.

Success:

I have passed all of my exams and completed my training.

I have now better understanding of my daughter’s illness and have more control over the trigger factors.

I have started and finished a few paintings and have written a few more blog posts.

I have taken the steps to make my blog look nicer and got it designed and custom coded.

We have survived my husband working full time and building online business.  It is still a lot of work in progress but he has met the goals he had.

I have created wonderful connections with a few beautiful creative souls through few online courses.

I have started to nurture my interest and passion for photography by starting a everyday beauty photography series.

As a family we have had more creative time this year than ever.

 

purple rain

 Behind the Scene:

I tried my best but often felt scared that ‘trying my best” may not be good enough.

I cried, prayed and learned to ask for help.

I practiced courage and held onto my faith when I spent three sleepless night in the hospital with my little girl leading up to my big exam day. I was not sure why I needed to be tested so hardly.

My husband had to work many late nights, early mornings and weekends to build his business. Again we have asked a lot of help from our family and I am very grateful for the wonderful support of my parents.

I have become a little more courageous by watching all my brave, creative friends and was inspired tremendously by their stories.

Failure:

I have failed to adopt a healthier life style and suffered a few health issues.

I have failed to meet the expectation I had about my blog.

I have often lost my focus when I committed to two online courses at the same time.

I have struggled to establish a good routine for my creative works and myself.

 Learning:

You cannot plan for everything and no matter how hard you try you will always face uncertainty.

Your faith and strength will be tested many times and each time you will grow stronger and wiser.

You need to know the art of asking for help

When you earn your first one dollar from your online business (or art ) it will seem unreal and you will be so excited that you will celebrate by spending 5 times more than what you have earned and that’s fine. It’s an exciting adventure.

You cannot work hours after hours unless you are passionate about something and yet at times you will feel frustrated and want to quit.

To let your intuition guide you is an act of enormous bravery and only by showing up with that much courage you can invite magic to your life.

This post is part of our monthly blog circle now , please hop on to the next blog from the wonderful Laly Mille

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With Love and Gratitude,

Naz.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dec16

Everyday Beauty-Illustration and Cartoons

Posted by: Naz Laila

This is a weekly photography series to share the everyday beauty, a process that helps to slow down and appreciate the little wonders around us.

My girls have been writing up a lot of stories and a few characters are emerging as well. I keep a photo catalogue of their art and craft works.

DSC_0048 DSC_0028 DSC_0040 DSC_0054 photo 5 photo 2-1

I would love to know what is capturing your attention lately?

If you enjoyed this post, please subscribe to A Gentle Rebellion and share this post with others.

With Love and Gratitude,

Naz

Dec09

To A Thirteen Year Old Girl-You Are Not Alone

Posted by: Naz Laila

My dear little girl, I know you are going through a difficult time. Life hasn’t been as nice as you wished it to be.  Many parts of your life has changed suddenly and left you wondering “WHY ME?”

You don’t want to be ‘the odd one out’, the one who is not lucky enough to have a perfect life.  You don’t know how to fix all the broken parts. You don’t know where are you heading, your safe shelter is lost.  This is a dark and lonely place and you don’t know how long you have to walk to find the light.

I know your tender heart is heavy with all the pain. I know you are trying your best to carry on, to hide your tears from the world, to keep a perfect smile even when you are falling apart. You are afraid that your imperfect story will make you unlovable. You are sacred to lose your sense of belonging; you don’t want to take a chance.

Some days you feel like giving up, it is too hard to pretend all the time, too suffocating to carry the heavy weight of a happy girl.

Beautiful things

I want you to know that you are not alone in your struggle. I have been in your place, that place of loneliness, covered with dark shadow of hopelessness and unworthiness. I felt I was the only one in my surroundings going through a rough time. I was angry and sad. I had spent many a nights burying my face in the pillow and many a days hiding my face behind the big thick books.  I felt crippled inside but I tried to carry a happy face. I didn’t have the courage to share my story; I didn’t want to be ridiculed. Little did I know, I was not alone in that struggle.

Years later, I have learned that many of my friends were also carrying a hurting heart. They were also scared to share their imperfect stories. We all had a little messy part of our stories that we didn’t want to reveal. We all pretended to have something that none of us actually had, “ A perfect life”.

So today, I want you to feel your emotions, do what your soul cries for. Cry if you want to, be sad if you must be. And then when you search for your answers in the vastness of the dark black sky, just know there are thousands more tender eyes looking at these twinkling lights and searching for the same answers.

My dear little girl, I can not  just take all your pain away, I can not mend your broken life now but I can tell you, YOU ARE NOT ALONE.  I know that for sure.

If you have enjoyed this post, please subscribe to A Gentle Rebellion and share this post with others.

With Love and Gratitude,

Naz