Entries Tagged as 'Love'

Dec20

“2013”-An amazing adventure of living, loving and embracing uncertainty

Posted by: Naz Laila

This year has been a year when I felt more alive and engaged than ever. It hasn’t been a easy ride but an amazing adventure.

Challenges

I knew 2013 was going to be a tough year as I was preparing for my final medical specialisation exam. Little did I know that it would be only a part of a multitude of challenges?  Facing a sudden and severe illness of my daughter was the hardest part.

Also pursuing my creative side and sharing that journey was an uncomfortable and vulnerable process.

When my husband also decided to start his journey in online entrepreneurship and continue his full time job, it added another dimension to the challenge we were facing.

Success:

I have passed all of my exams and completed my training.

I have now better understanding of my daughter’s illness and have more control over the trigger factors.

I have started and finished a few paintings and have written a few more blog posts.

I have taken the steps to make my blog look nicer and got it designed and custom coded.

We have survived my husband working full time and building online business.  It is still a lot of work in progress but he has met the goals he had.

I have created wonderful connections with a few beautiful creative souls through few online courses.

I have started to nurture my interest and passion for photography by starting a everyday beauty photography series.

As a family we have had more creative time this year than ever.

 

purple rain

 Behind the Scene:

I tried my best but often felt scared that ‘trying my best” may not be good enough.

I cried, prayed and learned to ask for help.

I practiced courage and held onto my faith when I spent three sleepless night in the hospital with my little girl leading up to my big exam day. I was not sure why I needed to be tested so hardly.

My husband had to work many late nights, early mornings and weekends to build his business. Again we have asked a lot of help from our family and I am very grateful for the wonderful support of my parents.

I have become a little more courageous by watching all my brave, creative friends and was inspired tremendously by their stories.

Failure:

I have failed to adopt a healthier life style and suffered a few health issues.

I have failed to meet the expectation I had about my blog.

I have often lost my focus when I committed to two online courses at the same time.

I have struggled to establish a good routine for my creative works and myself.

 Learning:

You cannot plan for everything and no matter how hard you try you will always face uncertainty.

Your faith and strength will be tested many times and each time you will grow stronger and wiser.

You need to know the art of asking for help

When you earn your first one dollar from your online business (or art ) it will seem unreal and you will be so excited that you will celebrate by spending 5 times more than what you have earned and that’s fine. It’s an exciting adventure.

You cannot work hours after hours unless you are passionate about something and yet at times you will feel frustrated and want to quit.

To let your intuition guide you is an act of enormous bravery and only by showing up with that much courage you can invite magic to your life.

This post is part of our monthly blog circle now , please hop on to the next blog from the wonderful Laly Mille

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With Love and Gratitude,

Naz.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nov23

Gratitude and Joy

Posted by: Naz Laila

I am doing  the Gift of imperfection e-course with Brene Brown and we were sharing our stories of finding joy and practicing gratitude last week. I had a’ A-h-a moment ‘, when I heard Brene saying ” through my research I have found that joyful people are not grateful, rather grateful people are joyful”.

I can now see how I have invited more joy and peace in my life this year. I have not had any major change in any aspect of my life (finance , relationship, job , health, etc).  However,  I have experienced a major shift in my attitude and perspective since I have started to write down about the things that I am grateful for. It is not a detail gratitude journaling  but a simple list of things that I am so thankful for and know in my heart that I have been very fortunate to have them in my life.

There were hard days when I felt stuck in a dark place, lost in my path to see the beauty and struggled to find  the meaning. All those times that gratitude list worked as a guide post to bring joy and peace in my life.  From  experiencing the everyday beauty to having a wonderful family celebration, I am immensely grateful for each of these wonderful blessings.

I have created a photo collage of some the  things that makes me grateful and joyful.

 

simple pleasure

simple pleasure

Unconditional love

Unconditional love

Beautiful Nature

Beautiful Nature and photography

Family

Family and a wonderful  celebration ( my brother’s wedding)

Creativity, painting

Creativity, painting

Culture and Food

A vibrant and rich culture and Food

 

I would love to know where do you find joy? What are you grateful for this year?

With love and gratitude,

Naz

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Oct13

May you give yourself the permission

Posted by: Naz Laila

 

 

May you have the audacity to dream the impossible.

May you believe in your dream even when the world ridicules you.

May you have the courage to surrender and trust the process.

May you embrace the uncertainty with grace and faith.

May you approach every journey with curiosity.

May you let go the fear of judgement and show up with your story.

May you let the power of gratitude transform you.

May you experience the blessings of unconditional love and acceptance.

May you allow forgiveness to mend your broken heart.

May you choose kindness over cleverness.

May you shine with the beauty of your soul.

May you let the colours of butterfly make your heart soar.

May you find joy in the simplicity of a meaningful life.

May you be gentle on your soul when you struggle to overcome failure.

May you give yourself the permission to be the WONDERFUL YOU.

 

If you enjoyed this post, please subscribe to A Gentle Rebellion and share this post with others.

With Love and Gratitude,

Naz

Jan11

Can You See the Beauty?

Posted by: Naz Laila

I was checking my Facebook when I stumbled upon a photo. It was the photo of a beautiful little girl in a garden and a quote of Rumi at the bottom of the photo. The photograph itself was magnificent but what really struck me was the quote:

 “ I see my beauty in you”  –  Rumi

photo by alfonsator

 

I was amazed by the depth and strength of these simple words. However, I wasn’t prepared for the emotions they evoked in me. These words brought clarity to so many questions and experiences that I became overwhelmed with emotions.

First mother’s day poster prepared by my daughter at age 5.

‘Why do you love your mother? Because she has a beautiful face.’

When I saw the poster I asked her “What did you mean by that?”

She said “Your face makes me happy mummy, it’s beautiful.”

I wasn’t sure if she knew what she was talking about.

 

Did she see her own innocence, preciousness and bondage in my face that made it so beautiful? YES she did.

 

Three months into our relationship my husband (living overseas at that time) said “your photo looks more beautiful each day”.

“Isn’t it the same photo that you look at everyday?” I asked.

“Yes, but it looks more beautiful than before”. I was confused.

 

Was it his love that was growing stronger each day made the photo look more beautiful? YES it was his love, now I know.

 

Someone I know once made a derogatory comment about one of my wedding photos. I was shocked and heart-broken.  I wondered how could somebody be so insensitive? What made her to be so judgemental? I did not have an answer for 10 years.

 

Did she see her own fear and insecurities in that photo? YES she did, now I have the answer.

 

I remembered how many times I looked at the mirror to see a flawless beautiful face but all I saw was countless imperfections.  There were many wrinkles, dark circles,  blemishes and the list goes on. I bought new make up, changed the facials and tried different diet.

Did it work? No it didn’t.

Did I see my fear, guilt and insecurities in the mirror that made those wrinkles and dark circles to stand out? YES I did.

I recalled many conversations I had with my friends about how frustrated they were with their body image. It reminded me of my gorgeous friend who kept changing her skin care products every month to find the perfect fit, although she looked absolutely stunning. I thought of the stories I read in the news everyday about so many young girls going under the knife to get the perfect look.

 

Are we all trying to show the world the beauty that we don’t see in ourselves?

 

As the innocent face of that little girl became blurry, I felt a profound shift inside me. I needed to find the beauty. Not with another range of skin care product or new facial but with acceptance, self-compassion and gratitude. My search for the perfect look stopped there. The wrinkles have been slowly taken over by the gratitude of having a healthy body; the light of acceptance has removed those dark circles.

I see my beauty in the mirror; I see my beauty in you.

Can you see the beauty? Please share your story with us.

 

With love and gratitude,

Naz

 

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photo by alfonsator

Dec19

Can we really experience magic?

Posted by: Naz Laila

Thousands little twinkles

It is so quiet that it feels a little weird. I don’t know why I am up so early, both of my girls are still in deep sleep.  I could hear their breathing from here.  I sit in silence for a while. It is still dark outside. There are few houses on the street twinkling with their beautiful Christmas lighting. They look magical with the backdrop of deep dark sky and this beautiful silence. I keep looking at the lights, as they change colours from blue to white I wonder back to my childhood.

There was a beautiful house at the end of our street decorated with thousands of small colourful lights, beautiful banners and flowers as some one in that house was getting married. To a little girl that looked magical. I believed that everyone living in that house was experiencing magic; they were the happiest people on earth.

I hear a small cough; it stops my wondering down the memory lane. I know its my eldest girl, I pray so that she doesn’t get sick again. I know the girls are counting days to Christmas. I want them to fully experience the spirit and wonder of this wonderful time of the year. I fear its not too far away  when they will start to judge things with more facts and logic and will try to find out “the truth”.

I can see them asking “ Mommy who is Santa ? Is there such a thing as magic?”

Do I  really  know the answers?

I look out into the darkness again.  The silence gets filled with the flashback of memories. A young girl looking at those beautiful houses and praying hard to experience the magic of thousands little twinkle lights when she meets her soul mate. But years later when that moment came she felt  too vulnerable to open her heart.  She knew from the very first minute that she was waiting her entire life for this love but surrendering herself to it felt too scary.

What if she doesn’t get any answers if she asks, what if the answer shatters her tender heart?

She didn’t know that by not taking the risk of being hurt, she was risking everything, she risked experiencing  the life. She was young and weak. She didn’t know how to face vulnerability.

Those enormous fears pulled her back into her shell and she closed her off from the world. She spent many nights crying while giving up her dream of experiencing the magic of thousands twinkle lights.

I startled back with the sound of the alarm clock. I walk back quickly to the bedroom where my husband is in deep sleep.  I look at him and pause there for a few moments. I turn off the alarm while tears roll over my cheek.

I know the answer. Yes there is magic and its true.

There are things that we can’t see, logic and facts can’t explain. We can feel it only if we believe in it.  When we experience the magic our lives are changed forever. Mine was changed in December 2001.

With love and gratitude

Naz

(This post is a part of a blog circle with some lovely creative souls and the theme for this month is “December reflection”. Ever since December 2001, this special month reminds me of the magic of love, joy and happiness).

The next post in the blog circle is from the wonderful Laly Mille