Entries Tagged as 'Self Acceptance'

Feb21

“The Love affair” that has transformed me

Posted by: Naz Laila

The theme for this month’s blog circle is “Love”. To my surprise I have found this topic the hardest to write about.

I kept thinking “what story should I tell about love that will reflect my personal journey but will still resonate with others , will add some meaning or provoke some thinking?”  The answer was pointing to one specific relationship, the one I wasn’t very comfortable to talk about or write about. So I ignored that answer, tried to come up with other ideas, procrastinated but it didn’t leave me. It became louder and louder till I surrendered to it’s power and purpose.

 

I have been very fortunate to experience love in many forms, which include growing up in a very close net loving family, experiencing the intense love of my two beautiful girls along with many other treasured relationships. I have always tried my best to respond back with gratitude, acceptance, kindness and unconditional love to all of them.  But it was a totally different picture when it came to show acceptance and kindness to my own shortcomings, my imperfections. I was the hardest critic; I was the most disappointed on myself for not being the best in everything I do, for making mistakes. I failed to show any love to my inner vulnerable self. My unconditional love was only reserved for other people. Then I came across the following quote

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Jan11

Can You See the Beauty?

Posted by: Naz Laila

I was checking my Facebook when I stumbled upon a photo. It was the photo of a beautiful little girl in a garden and a quote of Rumi at the bottom of the photo. The photograph itself was magnificent but what really struck me was the quote:

 “ I see my beauty in you”  –  Rumi

photo by alfonsator

 

I was amazed by the depth and strength of these simple words. However, I wasn’t prepared for the emotions they evoked in me. These words brought clarity to so many questions and experiences that I became overwhelmed with emotions.

First mother’s day poster prepared by my daughter at age 5.

‘Why do you love your mother? Because she has a beautiful face.’

When I saw the poster I asked her “What did you mean by that?”

She said “Your face makes me happy mummy, it’s beautiful.”

I wasn’t sure if she knew what she was talking about.

 

Did she see her own innocence, preciousness and bondage in my face that made it so beautiful? YES she did.

 

Three months into our relationship my husband (living overseas at that time) said “your photo looks more beautiful each day”.

“Isn’t it the same photo that you look at everyday?” I asked.

“Yes, but it looks more beautiful than before”. I was confused.

 

Was it his love that was growing stronger each day made the photo look more beautiful? YES it was his love, now I know.

 

Someone I know once made a derogatory comment about one of my wedding photos. I was shocked and heart-broken.  I wondered how could somebody be so insensitive? What made her to be so judgemental? I did not have an answer for 10 years.

 

Did she see her own fear and insecurities in that photo? YES she did, now I have the answer.

 

I remembered how many times I looked at the mirror to see a flawless beautiful face but all I saw was countless imperfections.  There were many wrinkles, dark circles,  blemishes and the list goes on. I bought new make up, changed the facials and tried different diet.

Did it work? No it didn’t.

Did I see my fear, guilt and insecurities in the mirror that made those wrinkles and dark circles to stand out? YES I did.

I recalled many conversations I had with my friends about how frustrated they were with their body image. It reminded me of my gorgeous friend who kept changing her skin care products every month to find the perfect fit, although she looked absolutely stunning. I thought of the stories I read in the news everyday about so many young girls going under the knife to get the perfect look.

 

Are we all trying to show the world the beauty that we don’t see in ourselves?

 

As the innocent face of that little girl became blurry, I felt a profound shift inside me. I needed to find the beauty. Not with another range of skin care product or new facial but with acceptance, self-compassion and gratitude. My search for the perfect look stopped there. The wrinkles have been slowly taken over by the gratitude of having a healthy body; the light of acceptance has removed those dark circles.

I see my beauty in the mirror; I see my beauty in you.

Can you see the beauty? Please share your story with us.

 

With love and gratitude,

Naz

 

If you enjoy this article please share it with your friends.  Your kindness is greatly appreciated.

photo by alfonsator